When Work Sucks.

Today was not fun. Honestly going to work is never fun but today was just one of those days where work was miserable.  Absolutely miserable. On top of having thousands of tourist from all over the world give me attitudes I was just not feeling today. My heart was heavy and all I wanted to do is cry and be alone. That's not a good combination for someone who is supposed to have a smile on their face while kindly asking guest to take  a picture for a memorable experience. I found myself getting agitated with God. "Why do I work here? What is my purpose? Why does my heart keep feeling so heavy? Where is my joy?" These questions burned in my mind and heart all day, distracting me and breaking me. As I've said its been a tough day but one thing I can't help but realize is that I work at one of the biggest mission fields there is. Everyday I encounter thousands of people from all over the world with all different religions. Everyday I speak with hundreds of Muslim girls with their faces covered, hundreds of Hindu Indians with dots on their heads, Buddhist monks, English people who are cussing out their kids and me, the list goes on and on. My point is not many people get to be in  a safe environment where it is there job to talk to all different kinds of people with all different kinds of beliefs. But I get that opportunity. And I take it for granted. My biggest passion is Jesus and yet somehow when I step into the work place I instantly get drained and feel the total opposite of reflecting the glory of Jesus. The other day I felt led to pray that every single person that I encountered would somehow see the glory of Jesus through me. As hard as I tried there were times where I still had an attitude with visitors, especially the ones that have an attitude with me. I'm beginning to realize that if I continue to do this out of my own strength, this being, to reflect Jesus and host the presence of God everywhere I step that the Muslim girl that comes up to me for a photo feels Him nugging at her heart, I will fail. My strength has to come from Him. My passion has to come from Him. Without passion all of the tourist I encounter everyday are just annoying, rude, smelly, tourist. But with passion every tourist I encounter is a beloved soul that is precious and that Jesus' heart is beating for. I am a human. I don't always feel like being like Jesus, especially when people are getting on my nerves. But I am broken. I'm broken over the fact that I have brothers and sisters fighting for their lives in different countries because they are Christians. And here I am in America where I can scream the name of Jesus and people would just stare, but yet I struggle to reflect Him in the work place. That's not okay. I want to be bold and loving. I want to reflect Jesus and hear His voice when He asks me to speak to a particular guest. I have the world at my fingertips when I'm working and I want Jesus to take over. It's so hard as I'm sure some of you can relate to. But I can't give up. I can give up on my flesh because my flesh constantly fails and is way to weak for a mission like this. But I can't give up on Jesus because He has never given up on me. He is my strength, He is my portion, He is my hope when I'm at the end. Even if it doesn't feel like it, it sure didn't feel that way today, I will trust that He is strong when I am weak. I hope this encourages you all to look at your workplace as a mission field. Even if you hate your job look at it as the harvest field. Like Jesus said "the harvest is great but the workers are few." - Marthew 9:37 Lets be the workers that have a supernatural passion only provided by Jesus to be a missionary every where we go. We're in this together. - Sofia