Do You Trust God To Provide?

Don't Let Satan Silence Your Voice

Dear Depression

Dear Depression,

  You are a lie. A lie that slips out of the mouth of the accuser into the hearts and minds of the children of God that whispers "be sad, be defeated, have a heavy heart, just because." You bring your friends fear and anxiety to step in and make everything worse. They cripple our hearts, bodies, and minds from going, from doing, from being, from loving. Our hearts become a restless pit of questions and emptiness. We become numb and weak, feeling as if there is no reason to fight. You cripple our dreams and passions and say "no." You kill, steal, and destroy. But not anymore. For God refuses to let the enemy shout in triumph over us. (Psalm 30:1). And depression is the enemy. I have watched you enter into my life slowly and silently. I have listened to your lies that cloud my vision from the truth. I remember those times you used to take away my appetite, my sleep, my passion. But I serve a victorious God who promises to take back everything that the enemy has stolen. And that is exactly what He has done for me through Jesus. The blood of Jesus has redeemed my mind back from the pit. His sufficient grace has proven to be strong in my weakness. His Word that is full of promises for my life has out shouted your screams. One night that I'm sure you're very familiar with, I was sitting in my friends bathroom crying out because I had let you hurt me so much, and with the power of the Holy Spirit the words "Depression you can't have me," came out of my mouth and I felt a release. In that moment I felt the hands of depression let go of my neck in fear as if I had just pulled a weapon on it. Because I did. You like to silence our voice so that we can not proclaim victory with our mouths. But Jesus did not die on the cross for us to be swallowed up in defeat and for our mouths to be silenced. His love casts out all fear. When Jesus was nailed to the cross He took our depression on Him. For those agonizing hours that He was on the cross He felt the weight of our depression, He felt the crushing emptiness of its attacks. But when He rose from the grave He threw of the weight of depression. So today I stand with confidence that as depression tries to defeat me, tempt me, and cloud my vision it will only end up shrinking back in fear at the blood of Jesus that covers my mind and my life. Depression you have been defeated.

I wrote this to speak to the hearts of those that have been battling depression. It is real but it is also a lie and I wanted your hearts to know that Jesus has come to set you free and that depression does not have to win or take mastery over your everyday life as it tires to do. I know that it is a fight but you are not alone. God sees you and knows you and has come to part the waves of your depression as you victoriously walk through them and turn to see your enemy swallowed by the waves. Praying that every lie of the enemy is silenced and that your mind is healed in Jesus' Name. "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

  -Sofia

Unashamed

"Suffer, yes. Be misunderstood, yes. Be shamed, yes. But do not be ashamed. You will be shamed, but you need not be ashamed. Because the message of God's saving work in Christ is the only final triumphant message in the world. Short-term pain. Long-term gain. For the joy (of salvation!) set before you, take up your cross, follow Jesus, be shamed and despise the shame." -John Piper

What do you do when your heart is hurting and you feel like there's no hope? Worship Jesus.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by the weight of this world? Worship Jesus.
What do you do when you have no money but tons of payments? Worship Jesus. 
What do you do when people laugh at you, mock you, persecute you, lie about you? Worship Jesus.
Unashamedly take up your cross and follow Him. Because your worship breaks chains and it holds the very glory of God that says to the sinner "Come. I will give you future and a hope and a new life." When we as Christians are unashamed of the gospel we are not just making a bold statement about ourselves or our faith. We are putting our dirty, sin filled, shameful lifestyles on display for all of the world to see saying "Without Jesus I would be left to bathe in the filthy rags of my righteousness." Being Unashamed is actually a stance of humbly professing I was tore up from the floor up, living in all types of mess, but Jesus.... 

Grace and Redemption

Pressing On

This week in class one of my professors shared that she is going to visit family for Thanksgiving and praying for the Lord to help her and giver her strength because her sister has Alzheimer's and will not remember her. Another one of my professors with tears in her eyes asked us to pray for her family because her sister-in-law has been diagnosed with cancer and has lost all of her hair and her son is angry and won't talk to anyone. This has been one of the hardest weeks all semester. I am in such a sweet season of life but one that is full of hardships, and testing. This week I cried out to God and said "Lord this is to much." What's to much? Everything. School, finances, family stress, relationships, loosing friends from home, watching my professors suffer from cancer, death, sickness, and pain, staying up until 3 a.m. to finish assignments, and feeling crushed by the weight of the tragedy happening in our world. I have felt so heavy and so numb. As I was praying "Jesus I need you." The Holy Spirit said to me, "Do you need Jesus so He can fix everything so you will feel better, or do you need Him because He is Jesus?" I sat in silence as I was sharply convicted. "Jesus doesn't just want to fix your situations Sofia, He wants to be the essence of your life and breath." Ugh. Why Holy Spirit? Why say this now while I am hurting and so overwhelmed by the things around me that I feel like I have lost control and am drowning in a sea of pain. When everything is going great it is so easy for me to say Jesus I need you, not just to fix my problems but simply because I love you. But when I feel as if I'm in the midst of a raging storm it is harder to say Jesus I need you because you are my life and easier to say Jesus I need you to come and fix all of this pain and mess I am in. I was listening to In Over My Head by Bethel and these lyrics stood out to me "Whether I sink, whether I swim, It makes no difference when I'm beautifully in over my head." I am no longer on the shores I have been plunged into the deep waters and Jesus says "Stop fighting it, you are in over your head just where I want you to be." No this doesn't mean we are defeated. It means that now we have surrendered control and given it to Jesus that His victory would sweep in, crush Satan, and set us free. But our freedom is found in surrender. The more trials that I go through, the more that I realize this. Life is too hard. Pain can be unbearable. Fear can kill you. College can be one of the hardest processes. But Jesus is greater. We are going to go through so much in this life. We are going to get beaten up on, hurt, pushed down, talked about, and left behind. But Jesus is greater. And at the end of our fight we will come face to face with the victor Himself. Today I was encouraged to stop sitting on my God given dreams because of the fear of pain and the unknown. But to rise up and fight against the kingdom of darkness and proclaim the truth that Jesus Christ has won. If you're going through it know that you're not alone and that this battle you are in right now may be banging you up and wearing you out but it is producing within you an anointing that is sending the devil on the run and unleashing victory, Don't give up God is not finished with you yet.
-Sofia

Stop Playing Games With The Enemy

Do Not Let Your Hands Hang Limp.

Laughing At His Promises

Happy Thursday! I feel like it has been so long since I last posted. College is no joke. Seriously I never have a day where I have no homework, projects, assignments, etc. I'm thankful for all of it though. I'm getting a world class education and once in a lifetime opportunities so I fight to be grateful. God is faithful guys. I can never say it enough. As I see His promises unfold I get filled with wonder but also look back at myself a  few months ago and say "Man, why didn't I just trust Him." Has God ever said something to you and you just laugh because of how crazy it sounds. Reading Genesis 18:10-14 strikes familiarity in my heart "Then the Lord said, "I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son." Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?" Then the Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say "Will I really have a child, now that I am old?" Is anything to hard for the Lord?" Sarah laughed at God's promise and I have done the same thing countless amounts of time. When God speaks the impossible into our lives and does not operate according to our timing or plans we can shrink back in disbelief. That's what Sarah did. She laughed at the thought of having a child because of her old age. Personally when this happens to me my disbelief turns into fear, my fear turns into doubt, and walls are built around my heart. It's a deadly cycle. I look back over these past few months and see how God has been so faithful to carry me through and provide in ways I didn't even think of. I was terrified of coming into this new semester of school. I was fearful of the unknown, uncertain of the promises of God, and elevating the lies of the enemy and opinion of man. Nothing was going the way I planned yet God's plan remained perfect and in place. God never once says to Himself, "Oh no I have to change this now because this didn't work out, what am I going to do!?" Instead He says "I have known all along, I go before you and behind you, before you are even in the next season of your life I am already there preparing the people, the place, and everything in between." It is a fight to trust. The enemy will always whisper the lie of "You can't trust God." But I hear the Lord say to me, "I am silencing the lies with My love." What lie have you believed? What promise has God spoken to you that you have laughed at? Be honest with yourself. I've believed the lie that I can't trust God, so therefore I must take things into my own hands. I've laughed at the fact that God has told me He will provide me with EVERYTHING I need, even when my circumstances say otherwise.I have so many times been Sarah. I have laughed at what God has told me because it is to big, to radical, to miraculous.  But that is the God we serve. We serve a God who takes or mundane broken lives and does the miraculous with them. We serve a God who cares about us so much and has no limit to how much He cares for He is love itself. God is a promise keeper. If God has promised you something and you still haven't received it, do not stop waiting. He is faithful. The enemy will tell you in the waiting that God won't come through, but that is a lie, God ALWAYS comes through. Jesus adores you. Your name is on the palms of His hands. You have not been put on standby you are always before Him. So when God gives you a promise laugh not with doubt but with expectation, because as crazy as that promise sounds "He who promised is faithful."(Hebrews 10:23).
-Sofia

Breaking Strongholds of Fear that leads to Depression.

       "Don't you think I hear the whispers, those subtle lies, those angry pleas. They're just demons, demons, wishing they were free like me."- ( Diamonds)


   Fear is a prison. As I've made it through my first week back in college I've realized this. I look back at this past summer and see how captive to fear I was. I see even more clearly the walls of fear that imprisoned my heart because I chose to believe the lies of the enemy over the promises of God. I have also discovered that depression and anxiety reap a harvest of fear. As I submitted to it the walls of fear begin to rise up around my heart and blur my vision. I see that I was no loner looking through the lens of faith but through the lens of this dreadful fear. How did it all begin? A seed of fear was planted and I let it take root. I began to allow the enemy to water that depression with fear, doubt, and anxiety, and it began to grow all through my body, almost as if it was a parasite. The crazy thing is that I didn't even realize what was happening. I didn't realize that fear was overtaking my heart and mind. As the summer continued the fear got stronger. I listened to every voice that fueled my fear and rejected every voice the tried to crush it. It's as if fear became my crutch. I listened to the voices that said "Sofia the promises of God don't apply to you,\."Sofia you're never going to be in a relationship that God has ordered because you won't be able to handle it."Sofia you're not supposed to be here, it's impossible." Sofia you're not going to be able to pay for school, why are you going to Liberty." Sofia are you sure of your major, are you sure that's what you're supposed to be doing it doesn't seem logical, you might just be wasting your time. Sofia you should stay home and not go back to school because your family is not in the best spiritual condition and you're supposed to carry them." Sofia I don't know if he is the right guy for you." FEAR. FEAR. FEAR. That is what each and every one of these statement put in my heart. They crushed me because I submitted to their weight and the walls went up around my heart and shut out Jesus. I didn't know what voice to believe and what voice to deny so I just shut all of them out. I felt heavy and is if the affection of the Lord was slowly drifting from me. But oh what a lie from the pit of hell that was!! It was towards the end of summer in the month of July that I talked to a special friend of mine on the phone, crying my heart out because of the pain I was in, and through their voice Jesus spoke to me and said "Sofia you have walls around your heart and I want to get in. I am repairing your voice and I will tear down every wall if you let me." The transformation began when I surrendered. When I realized all of the fear that I had built up around my heart and all of the lies I submitted to I began to say "Fix it Jesus!!!" Please God tear down these walls I give them to you.  I began to watch a sermon series from Elevation Church entitled "The Will of God is Whatever." And Jesus began to tear down the walls! I had this revelation that my mind needed to be corrected by God's Word and my heart needed to be directed by it. So I began to have conversation with God through reading His Word. I just say "God can you show me things in Your Word to break down fear." And He did just that. It was amazing. I could literally physically feel my hardened heart being softened. As I came back to school I was more confident but still struggling with some doubt. Even as I began seeing God's promises and faithfulness unfold in front of me I still would say to myself "Is this for me?" It was just a few days ago that a friend I had made my freshman year of college, who I hadn't talked to in months and who knew nothing of my situation, texted me out of nowhere this "The Lord has really just given me a heart for you the last several days and I want to say thank you for standing firm and praising Him whatever your lot showing and pointing to His always and forever love that goes on. He is bringing victory in your life. I sense it. Strongholds demolished and chains of fear broken for he has heard your cry and seen you seek His face and He is coming. For He does not delay!" When I tell you I started breaking down in tears right in the library. I literally felt the presence of God so strong and so thick that I began to get hot in my face and started shaking. Jesus is breaking through my fear, and doubt, and helping me to run towards His promises and commands with an open heart. Jesus is crushing my depression and rebuking my anxiety with the loud sound of His voice. Jesus is repairing my voice that I might not shrink back in fear to His voice that calls me deeper and further into the unknown with Him,but that  says "Yes God!" He is giving me a war cry that shuts the lying mouth of the enemy and the voices of the doubters in my life. As I fight against fear I know that the war has already been won by the blood of Jesus. I know that God is for me and that even as Satan tries to throw his flaming darts of depression, fear, and doubt at me, my shield of faith that has been refined from suffering and the truth of God's Word, will take those flaming darts and quench them before they can even take root in my heart and mind. I just want to encourage those of you that are struggling with fear or who have struggled with it. His perfect love cast out ALL FEAR. Jesus is for you. You don't have to be scared, you don't have to withhold your heart. This morning my pastor said "Sometimes you can only see the wilderness, but God has a Promise Land waiting for you." Believe the promise guys.Don't let the opinions of doubters or Satan dictate your decisions. If I would've listened I would not be at Liberty University right now and I would not be chasing after everything God is for me and has for me. I've come to realize this, It's not over until God says it's over. I'm not moving until God says move. As long as the Lord's provision stays and His Spirit continues to lead me in that direction I will follow. Fear is a prison and Jesus holds the key to set you free. He has done it for me and continues to do it for me. I know there will be days when I will feel the fear creep in and start to whisper lies but I know that Jesus is right next to me saying this over my life "You are precious to Me. You are honored, and I love you." - Isaiah 43:4 May you all have a blessed week full of the chain breaking love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. - Sofia

"All your curse will surrender, every damning word will kneel, They're just mountains, mountains, about to turn into fields." -(Diamonds)

Depression, Anxiety, and Becoming A Yielded Vessel.

What a summer this has been. It doesn't seem real that it's getting ready to come to an end. Not what I had intended, this summer was hard. Of course it was full of awesome moments, beautiful blessings, and comforting friends and family. But it was also full of waves of depression, anxiety, and an inner war on my heart that caused me to shrink back in fear from the only Voice that calms all fear. Inner battles are exhausting, and if you don't stay rooted in God's Word they will piece by piece break you down. I knew this truth, but I let the fear cripple me, I let the season of not feeling God's presence press me into the lie that the joy of the Lord isn't my strength. How can it be if I feel nothing? How can I feel so hollow and dry, so confused and despaired, so broken and lost but believe that He is my strength? These are the battles I fought continually in my mind. And then the question is raised "Am I even in God's will?" How can I possibly be feeling this way if I am living in God's will for my life? Am I supposed to be attending this University? Am I supposed to be majoring in this, pursuing this, going here, doing that?" These questions raised in my mind and screamed from my heart as I tossed and turned at night and woke in the morning. As I gave in to these questions and emotions I felt the walls slowly start to build up around my heart and shut my Savior out. Unintentionally, even without my thinking my heart slowly became like the inhabited city of Jericho before its walls came tumbling down. As scripture describes Jericho "No one went out and no one came in" (Joshua 6:1). And then came the thoughts of "how can this be me?" Because I don't feel like me. I'm Sofia. The radical, Jesus loving, demon chasing, tongue speaking, blood pleading, Holy Ghost fired up girl. But that girl seemed lost and there I was giving in to myself. Clenching my hands so tightly around things rather then the Creator. Blaming myself and trying to figure everything out instead of asking Jesus to break down the walls around my heart and heal me. My voice seemed gone. I became broken before the Lord. I worshiped and prayed and fasted and did everything else that I could think of but I still was empty because the walls around my heart were high and sturdy and my trust had withered. A few days ago I realized I need to ask Jesus to tear the walls around my heart down. To crush them, so that my heart may once again be yielded to my Savior, because quite frankly I can't make it without Him. I gave into the lie from the enemy that I could. I gave into the lie that the still small voice that whispers away the fear can't be trusted, and it crushed me. I'm thankful that in the midst of these seasons the Holy Spirt remains the same and still speaks to us. I cried out and said "Jesus will you march around my heart and bring down these walls like you did in Jericho." For me that was the Spirit of God living on the inside of me that cried that out. The same spirit that cries out ABBA sat in me and said "Father help her." What a summer this has been. So I've begun to read the story of Jericho. Although it's not the first time I've read it, it feels as if it is. And day by day my gracious, loving, holy Father, is marching around my heart, blowing His trumpet, and taking my walls down. It's a process. Joshua and his army had to march for seven days before the walls of the city came down, but they didn't stop until it was done. And Jesus is not going to stop until it's done. He is jealous for my heart, He longs to sit on the throne of it and have it completely yielded to Him. So that's what He will do. Jesus is going to march around my heart until all the walls have come tumbling down and in the process his amazing love is going to release my heart from fear into freedom because that's what He does. His blood still works. And in all of this I am becoming a yielded vessel. I write this today to say that I have failed. I gave in to lies, I turned from trust, and I slowly started to depend more on the world and less on my God. But oh the beauty of Jesus when He reaches down to me and says "I do not condemn you." So if you're out there struggling, if you feel guilty and hurt, lost and confused, broken and despaired I want you to know, Jesus wants you to know, that He is going to march around that stubborn, bruised, broken heart of yours and say "Walls come down for this is my child whom I have bled for and the enemy will not win." Even in my depression God is good. Even in my anxiety and fear of tomorrow He is good. Jesus is the Healer of broken hearts, even if we caused them to break, and I believe that He is not only going to heal mine but yours to. Thank You Lord. -Sofia "When the people gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so every man charged straight in, and they took the city." - Joshua 6:20

Miracle Grounds

Then Jesus became explicit: “Lazarus died. And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn’t there. You’re about to be given new grounds for believing. Now let’s go to him.” - John 11:14-15 (MSG)

Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope that this week has been a good one so far and if it hasn't remember that God is still on the throne. I've been reading the book of John and I was just going over the death of Lazarus. I really like how the MSG translation states this particular verse of Jesus addressing the disciples on Lazarus' death. Basiaclly He says Lazarus is dead and for your sake I'm glad that I wasn't there to prevent it. Why was Jesus glad? "You're about to be given new grounds for believing." Sometimes Jesus lets things happen so that our faith in Him will increase. You see Jesus could've gone straight away to Lazarus and healed him. He actually got the news that Lazarus was sick and stayed where he was two more days before going to where Lazaurs was. Why wouldn't Jesus go to Lazarus as soon as He got the news that He was sick? Because He knew that if He waited the miracle would be even sweeter. Jesus could've gone straight to Lazarus and healed Him and all would've been well but instead He waited and by the time He waited Lazarus had already died. As if this was a stumbling block to our King. Sometimes we want an automatic answer, an automatic healing, breakthrough, or whatever it may be. It's not that God can't or won't do it automatically, but sometimes He wants to give us new grounds for believing just like he wanted to give the disciples. And sometimes in order to get new grounds for believing something has to die. I've been in a season of breaking for what seems to be a while now. My flesh is dying and I find myself constantly being humbled by the Lord. This is such a painful process. I never realized how hard and painful it is to die to the flesh until now. But I hear the Lord saying "You're about to be given new grounds for believing." God is doing a work that is going to be so shaking and marvelous that people won't believe it. Just like He did with Lazarus. Jesus didn't leave Lazaurus in the grave, He went to his grave and said "Lazarus, come out!" (John 11:43) and Lazaurs came out. Imagine the disciples, Lazaurs family, and other people standing by. Imagine their reactions to seeing a man that was once dead come back to life. The new grounds for believing were now planted.  The rejoicing was greater and hearts put their faith in Jesus. Don't you see that this is what Jesus wants to do with us? He wants to give us new ground so that our hearts may embark on an even deeper and sweeter journey with the lover of our souls. I feel like Jesus is speaking to some of you and saying "come on let's go I'm about to give you new grounds for believing, I am about to increase your faith and show you my power." So whatever thing in your life that  you feel has died, that you feel like you've been praying and praying for but hasn't come to pass. Jesus says "Come out!" Don't loose heart, Lazarus family wanted him to be healed of his sickness but Jesus had something better in mind, He wanted to bring Him to life. Jesus has something better in store for you, something greater than you could've imagined. And it is going to break new miracle working ground that will overflow into everything you do. 

-Sofia 

The Process

Hey everyone! Happy Monday! It's been a while since I've last written a post and I miss it so much! I can't believe the summer is almost over. It has gone by so fast! Church yesterday touched me in anew and fresh way. God spoke to my heart and there was a moment in worship where I felt like Jesus was sitting right in front of me saying "Sofia I Love you I am Yours you are Mine." It was so powerful. Something that Jesus has been teaching me recently is to trust the process. Yesterday in church one of my pastors said something that stood out to me. "God does not always act as a microwave God, most of the time He acts as an oven." What does that mean? A lot of the time God is t going to do things instantly. It's not that He can't or that He won't. I've seen many times in my life where God instantly moves on my behalf, but I've also seen many times where He acts as an oven and takes me through a process before giving the competed work. I've found that I be fit from the process much more. I mean think about it what taste better a frozen microwave dish or a nice oven cooked homemade meal? In a world that constantly desires instant gratification it can become hard to trust God in the process. We want it right now. We don't want to wait and wait and wait and go through some things and learn some things before getting what we've been praying for. But what if that makes us more like Jesus and brings us closer to His heart? The process is not always going to be fun. Waiting is not always the easiest thing in the world. I've learned this from experience and I believe that I'm still learning this. I'm learning to trust God in the process. To have faith in Him even when I can not see and even when everything around me says I should otherwise. It's hard! But I know that trusting the process will reap an even greater blessing.  So whatever your process may be at the moment, dealing with difficult co-workers, waiting for a miracle, waiting for direction on what to do next, or just simply waiting to see God move on your behalf, know that you are more than a conqueror through Jesus and that no demon in hell can thwart the and that God has for your life. Jesus wants to give you the best. He's not interested in giving you a cheap quick microwave meal. He wants to give you the best of the best even if that means it has to cook a little longer. I hope you all have a blessed week, praying for each and every person who read this! - Love Sofia. 

Christians, how will you respond?

 My heart is burdened. Last night I fell asleep with the news of my middle eastern brothers and sisters being so brutally persecuted. Men drowned, women raped and then fed to animals, all because of this faith in Jesus. I woke up this morning to find that even more persecution has taken place. Suicide bombing, terrorist attacks. Then I see the hashtag #LoveWins flooding my timeline as if love is not a man named Jesus who hung on a cross bloody, and beaten because of our own sin but yet said "Father forgive them they know not what they do." My heart aches. There is so much brokeness and evil in this world. People are rejoicing over sin and ignoring the lost and hurting. People are getting more riled up over a festival where dogs are killed than they are about young girls who are getting fed to dogs because of their faith. This isn't right. Something is wrong. Unrighteousness makes headlines yet the cruel unjustice of the people who have no voice seems to sit on the shelf as the world passes by. And yet I hear God's voice say "how will you respond?" Christians, how are we going to respond? How are we going to respond to our persecuted brothers and sisters? How are we going to be a voice so loud that the media has to see, that justice has to be done? How are we going to respond with love to those who are lost? How are we going to respond to the supreme courts decision? How are we going to respond to ignorance and brokeness? As greatly as my heart is burdend I know that there is hope. As I ask myself these questions I know that the answer has already been supplied and it is found on a bloody cross. It is found in the nailed scared hands of my savior who says "I love you despite your mess." Jesus we are so in need of you. We must worship and pray like never before Church. We must get serious about these hard things and rely on the strength of Jesus to help us face them. Remember this: The Lord sits enthroned over the flood. - Psalm 29:10 

Even in this darkness, even in this chaos of evil and pain I know that God is good and that He has won the war. Jesus we love you. I really encourage you guys to just sit alone or together with someone and worship and pray. Pray for our nation, pray for our persecuted family, pray that we would see a revival like never before. And worship Jesus. It will move mountains but more importantly it will move our Fathers heart. - Sofia 

When Work Sucks.

Today was not fun. Honestly going to work is never fun but today was just one of those days where work was miserable.  Absolutely miserable. On top of having thousands of tourist from all over the world give me attitudes I was just not feeling today. My heart was heavy and all I wanted to do is cry and be alone. That's not a good combination for someone who is supposed to have a smile on their face while kindly asking guest to take  a picture for a memorable experience. I found myself getting agitated with God. "Why do I work here? What is my purpose? Why does my heart keep feeling so heavy? Where is my joy?" These questions burned in my mind and heart all day, distracting me and breaking me. As I've said its been a tough day but one thing I can't help but realize is that I work at one of the biggest mission fields there is. Everyday I encounter thousands of people from all over the world with all different religions. Everyday I speak with hundreds of Muslim girls with their faces covered, hundreds of Hindu Indians with dots on their heads, Buddhist monks, English people who are cussing out their kids and me, the list goes on and on. My point is not many people get to be in  a safe environment where it is there job to talk to all different kinds of people with all different kinds of beliefs. But I get that opportunity. And I take it for granted. My biggest passion is Jesus and yet somehow when I step into the work place I instantly get drained and feel the total opposite of reflecting the glory of Jesus. The other day I felt led to pray that every single person that I encountered would somehow see the glory of Jesus through me. As hard as I tried there were times where I still had an attitude with visitors, especially the ones that have an attitude with me. I'm beginning to realize that if I continue to do this out of my own strength, this being, to reflect Jesus and host the presence of God everywhere I step that the Muslim girl that comes up to me for a photo feels Him nugging at her heart, I will fail. My strength has to come from Him. My passion has to come from Him. Without passion all of the tourist I encounter everyday are just annoying, rude, smelly, tourist. But with passion every tourist I encounter is a beloved soul that is precious and that Jesus' heart is beating for. I am a human. I don't always feel like being like Jesus, especially when people are getting on my nerves. But I am broken. I'm broken over the fact that I have brothers and sisters fighting for their lives in different countries because they are Christians. And here I am in America where I can scream the name of Jesus and people would just stare, but yet I struggle to reflect Him in the work place. That's not okay. I want to be bold and loving. I want to reflect Jesus and hear His voice when He asks me to speak to a particular guest. I have the world at my fingertips when I'm working and I want Jesus to take over. It's so hard as I'm sure some of you can relate to. But I can't give up. I can give up on my flesh because my flesh constantly fails and is way to weak for a mission like this. But I can't give up on Jesus because He has never given up on me. He is my strength, He is my portion, He is my hope when I'm at the end. Even if it doesn't feel like it, it sure didn't feel that way today, I will trust that He is strong when I am weak. I hope this encourages you all to look at your workplace as a mission field. Even if you hate your job look at it as the harvest field. Like Jesus said "the harvest is great but the workers are few." - Marthew 9:37 Lets be the workers that have a supernatural passion only provided by Jesus to be a missionary every where we go. We're in this together. - Sofia  

Jesus Saves

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He'll never let you be pushed past your limit; He'll always be there to help you come through it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13 (MSG)

It's June! My favorite month in the year for many reasons but the number one reason being that it is my birth month! I'm not going to lie it's been a rough past month. Transitioning back into being home and away from college is hard. This season has definitely taken me out of my comfort zone, stretched me beyond belief, and tested my faith over and over. Learning to doubt my doubts and press into Jesus even when I am uncomfortable and even when I can't feel Him is a process but I'm thankful that I'm going through it and that my faith is being tested so it can come forth as gold.  Jesus makes us different. It's a fact. You can't encounter Jesus and spend time with Him constantly and not be changed by it. People of God stand out, not because of themselves but because they've been touched by the living God. I like to look at Christians as humans in a world of zombies. We used to be just like the zombies, walking around with no life in us, But God. He breathed into our lungs and boom we became alive. But being surrounded by people that are dead can be challenging. In a world where temptation to go back to our once dead lives is constantly slamming us in the faces it can be hard to fight to stay alive. Being a woman of God in a world where everything else screams the opposite is challenging. Everyday I have to fight against the temptation to doubt what God has said about me and my life opposed to what the enemy and spirit of this world has to say. Standing up for holiness is not easy. Having a modest and gentle spirit is not easy. Standing up for the Word of God in a day and age where persecution is rising and going to church is considered old school is not easy. But Jesus makes it so worth it. If it wasn't for the passion of Jesus living in the hearts of believers we wouldn't be able to make it. Life is hard and living under the bondage of sin and fear makes it even harder. Fighting to not get caught up in the things of this world but to get caught up in the things of God is hard. But Jesus gives us life. Jesus breaks our chains of sin and fear. I'm learning more and more that Christianity is not cute. It's dirty, rough, painful, and full of tears. Why? Because it's all about Jesus taking the dirty people of this world, removing their rough, painful, broken parts, and putting them on His shoulders and saying to us "you are free." I used to live with this mindset that my life was perfect, Jesus humbled me quickly and showed me that wasn't true, now I realize that my life is so far from perfect. I experience hard and painful things, I mess up, I turn my eyes from Jesus, but yet He continues to pursue me and perfect me with His perfect love. That's the way this works. We mess up, Jesus fixes it and changes our lives all in the process. I'm thankful that Jesus' heart beats for me and I'm thankful that for some reason He saved me and wants to use me to show others that they to can be saved. But I'm also thankful for the testing of my faith. I'm thankful that life isn't easy and that I'm not always comfortable because if that weren't the case I wouldn't know how to rely on God. The hard times remind me that I am totally  dependent on Christ. The moment I start depending on myself is the moment that everything becomes unbearable. This life was not meant  to do alone. It was meant to be carried by the lover of our souls. I don't have it all figured out, and I don't know what God has in store for me next. But I know this simple truth. Jesus loves me. He loves you. And when we submit our hearts to that love, everything changes. So if you are a follower of Christ and struggling with doubt and temptation know that you are not alone and that God sees it all and is moving on your behalf. We all struggle but Jesus has promised that we will overcome.  Happy June! - Love Sofia. 

So my best friend got this dress for me and I'm obsessed. I love the slits and that it's sleeveless. I also love that it's cotton fabric so it's fitted and doesn't look like a bag on my body. I'm probably going to wear it all the time. It also works as a skirt if your wear a t-shirt over the top! 

The squad. 

Freedom in Appearance

11-13 Now, in these last sentences, I want to emphasize in the bold scrawls of my personal handwriting the immense importance of what I have written to you. These people who are attempting to force the ways of circumcision on you have only one motive: They want an easy way to look good before others, lacking the courage to live by a faith that shares Christ’s suffering and death. All their talk about the law is gas. They themselves don’t keep the law! And they are highly selective in the laws they doobserve. They only want you to be circumcised so they can boast of their success in recruiting you to their side. That is contemptible!

14-16 For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!  

Galatians 6:11-16 

Jesus is freedom, not bondage. Jesus is grace, not regulations. I think we all may have encountered people that care a little to much about outward appearance. I've met people who think tattoos, piercings, makeup, jewelry, wearing pants, and a list of other things, are wrong. To be honest these beliefs complex my mind, I can't help but read this scripture and see the freedom that burns in my Heavenly Fathers eyes as He looks at me. Holiness is important to God. Honoring Him with our dress, our mouths, our actions, and thoughts is an absolute must, but here's the thing there is a release of freedom in those things. When Jesus enters our lives and makes us over from the inside out we step into freedom not bondage. We don't step into this mindset of "okay this is my rule book, I can't say this and I can't wear that." We step into a new spirit and mind of "wow I'm finding myself not having the desire to say these things or do these things anymore and I have no idea why!" You see Jesus is in the business of making things new. He takes our dirty and broken hearts and transforms them into something completely different and so much better.  One thing Jesus never tells us to do is boast in the flesh. He always tells us in His Word to boast in Him. Why? The flesh counts for nothing. The Bible tells us to not live by the flesh but by the Spirit! The flesh is what gets us in trouble! I just wanted to speak to those out there who have been wrestling with holiness and outward appearance. For me personally as a Christian girl, I've never been convicted by things like wearing jewelry, pants, makeup, I think if a man or woman of God wants to get a tattoo, go for it!!! If you want your nose pierced and pink hair and want to do that all while serving Jesus, please do!! Wear those cute jeans with the holes and that hot pink lipstick! Quite frankly in my humble opinion I don't think Jesus cares! Yes modesty is important, yes honoring God with our bodies is the will of God, but what's going on with your heart? Jesus cares about the heart. You can be all holy on the outside but going to hell on the inside. I've had people ask me if being a Christian girl effects what I wear. Yes it absolutely does. I won't wear things that are to revealing /provocative. Because I desire to honor God with my whole self. But I know with all that's in me, God does not care that I'm wearing lipstick. He does not care that LeCrae just got another tattoo. He does not care that the girl serving Him day and night with her life decided she wanted blue hair. God cares that we love Him, love people, and follow Him in this new freedom He has given us. He cares about the girl who is suicidal, he cares about His children whose lives are being threatened for their faith, He cares about the family struggling with finances. Just like Paul was talking about in the scripture above we've been given freedom in Jesus, not freedom to do what our flesh wants but to do what the Spirit wants. Christianity is not about appearance it's about sacrifice, submission, and pure love and joy! So let's step into this amazing grace of Jesus and step out of man made regulations. Life with Him becomes so much more filled with revival when we do this. I hope and pray this blessed you guys today. - Sofia

What Is Pentecost?

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you all have been enjoying the weekend. Today has been wonderful! After a long week of work ( I mean really long) I got to go to church today and just get filled up on the Holy Spirit! I always look forward to going to my home church Calvary. It's one of my favorite places in the world. Today was Pentecost Sunday (I have to be honest every Sunday at my church is like Pentecost haha) but anyways it was so powerful! Seeing hundreds of people filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time is AMAZING. I love being reminded of the day that the Holy Spirit came to dwell on the inside of believers. The day the Holy Spirit filled us with a prayer language that would shake this world and make the devil shrink back in fear. God made available to every single believer the power to witness to the nations about the amazing love of Jesus. He gave us the power to cast out demons, raise the dead, heal the sick, and see an abundance of miracles, signs, and wonders all through the Holy Spirit. Tongues are powerful. They don't save you, nor are they a requirement to salvation, but they empower you to do the things of God on a whole nother level. There are times when I am to weak to pray my own human words, when I am to broken and I need the Holy Spirit to step in and pray on my behalf, that's where my heavenly language comes in. The fact that God has made available to us sinful humans to literally have God Himself pray through us, will never cease to amaze me. As amazing as speaking in tongues is, the power that it releases is even gretaer and the Holy Spirt behind it surpases it all. They Holy Spirit does more than pray through us. He leads us, speaks to us, comforts us, brings things to our remembrance and so much more. Pentecost is about receiving power. Not power to do as our flesh wills, but power to carry out the miraculous things of God and deny the flesh. I am thankful for Pentecost. I am thankful that on that day God gave us Himself in a new and fresh way. I pray that my life is constantly an outpouring of Pentecost and that I continue to be bold in the supernatural things of God. I also pray that the church as a whole does not shrink back into the cessationist view of "this is not real or for today." but that we boldly dive into the power of God and watch what happens when we let the Holy Spirit have full control. Lives will be saved, people will be healed, an no one will walk out of church feeling the same.  Like my pastor said in church today " So much of the church has been to Calvary for pardon but has not been to Pentecost for power." We need this power guys! I pray that each of you encounter Him in a new way and are filled with this powerful gift. It's for everyone! -Love Sofia

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. - Acts 2:1-4

You Are Life

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

Happy Saturday everyone! Today I just wanted to take a minute and share these amazing photos taken with my best friend in the whole wide world! Shonda and I are obsessed with the ministry/clothing line/song...called You Are Life. Founded by Taylor Madu (who we are also obsessed with) this amazing ministry literally screams the amazing restoration and redemption of Jesus Christ. Jesus is life guys and He has given it to us freely. Seriously when I wear this shirt I am reminded that I'm not just here but that I am revived by the resurrection power of my savior and that no matter what I go through or what hardships I face I am alive because Jesus lives in me. I highly reccomend that each and everyone of you visit taylormadu.com to get more information on this amazing minstry, read her testimony (it will levae you on your knees) and check oput the amazing merchandise that Shonda and I are rocking in these pictures! Join the You Are Life movement why? Because it's a Jesus movement and there's nothing better to be apart of!  Thanks so much to Shonda's cousin Orien Henry for taking this awesome pictures!! Oh and another thing, Black is beautiful, White is beautiful, biracial is beautiful, EVERY ethnicity is beautiful. Life is beautiful. Just thought I should add that in there. - Love Sofia.

Outfit Details:
Me: Shirt- You Are Life white v-neck
      Skirt- Forever 21
      Shoes: Converse
Shonda: Shirt: You Are Life black and gold
            Skirt: Forever 21
            Shoes: Target
            Hat: Forever 21

Struck Down. But Not Destroyed.

"The Benjamites came out of Gibeah and cut down twenty-two thousand Israelites on the battlefield that day. But the men of Israel encouraged one another and again took up their positions where they had stationed themselves the first day."- Judges 20:21-22

Wow. I can't believe that my freshman year of college is almost over. This is my last full weekend  at Liberty before I head home for the summer and the more I think about it the more I cry (tears of joy of course). I had no idea what to expect this school year. It's funny because when I look back at all of my worries before leaving home to come to Virginia, I see how they were so small compared to what God was going to do with them. "What are my roommates going to be like?" "How am I going to pay for all of this stuff?" "How am I supposed to take medicine without my mom?" "What do I do if I have to go to the doctors?" "Wait I have to buy my own groceries?" "Where am I going to church?" "Are my roommates going to think it's weird that I speak in tongues?"  "What do I wear when it's snowing?" And the list goes on and on and on. I'm glad that I can look at these questions now and laugh because of how I have seen God provide for each one of them. He has been so faithful! It blows my mind how much has happened from August till now. I have grown so much. It hasn't been an easy journey. I have shed many many tears and have gone through different painful trials. I've experienced fear,doubt, heartache, worry, depression, and the list goes on. But in the midst of all of these things that have come in these two semesters of college God's love prevails them all. I can not even begin to imagine how I would have made it this far without Jesus. When God places you somewhere He makes that holy ground and sets it apart for Himself to work miracles and I have seen that come true in my life here at Liberty. I always say that I go to the greatest school on planet earth and I mean it. Seriously Liberty University has exceeded every expectation that I had when coming here. It blows my mind every time I think about the amazing people that I have encountered and built relationships with all based off of Jesus. Never in my life have I been surrounded by such an awesome body of believers that seriously care about every little detail of my life. To me it's God's way of showing how He loves us. The verse I used above struck me because of how much it relates to my life right now. In this chapter of Judges the Israelites are going to war against the Benjamites because God has told them to. The thing is though when they first enter into battle the Israelites are cut down 22,000 people, leaving the Benjamites with the victory. Why in the world would God tell them to go and fight and then let them get cut down? The Israelites didn't give up though, they encouraged each other and together they approached the Lord asking if they should continue fighting. Again God says yes. So they obey and go to fight again, this time they loose 18,000 Israelites! When this happens to us in life we get so confused. "God you told me to come here and do this but I keep getting defeated! Why?" I feel like this has been my mindset during certain times at school. I would be going through something, having a bad day or week and I would think "Jesus why did you bring me here? What was the point if I'm just going to keep getting knocked down?" But as I keep reading I see the Israelites crying out to God, praying, fasting, and seeking His face on what their next move needs to be. Again God says go but this time he adds "For tomorrow I will give them into your hands." (v 28). So the Israelites again go to war against the Benjamites this time getting the victory and striking down 25,100 Benjamites! I guess this spoke to me so much because I can relate to the Israelites, especially after facing the unknown in college. I know what it's like to have God tell me to do something and when I do it I get knocked down but then He tells me to do it again. I believe this makes me stronger and even more dependent on Him. I also believe it makes the victory even sweeter. What a sweet victory it is that I have made it through my first year at college.  I'm hundreds of miles away from home living in a different state, meeting new people, and experiencing new things and God has been so faithful. Sometimes it can feel like everything is against you but  God is for you and in the end He always gets the victory. I am so thankful for the encouraging people that God has placed in my life this school year. I have made friendships that I value so deeply and I can't wait to see what God does with them. Jesus is AMAZING. I have no idea what the future holds but I know who holds my future. I'm excited to come home and pour into my family, friends, and strangers. I'm excited to go out and use everything God has taught me this semester. But I am also excited to be back at Liberty. I haven't even left to go home yet and I'm already saying "Okay when do I get back to Virginia?" God has done exceedingly above all I could ask or imagine. Thank you Jesus. Remember guys "When Jesus says yes nobody can say no."- Sofia Oh an p.s. My roommates are amazing, God provided money, I learned to take medicine without asking my mom, I survived going to the doctors without a parent, I've become a grocery shopping pro, God placed me in a beautiful church, my roommates love Jesus and tongues,

and I'm still learning the snow clothes thing, but I'm getting there! (Just to answer all of the questions I put in the beginning).